Thank You Students. You are
To all of my yoga students, who have been with me since and throughout I started teaching yoga or who recently have become students of mine, or students who may some day be, I want to say thank you. Teaching you has been one of greatest, shiniest of lights in my life so far. Truly. I cannot express the joy and excitement I see from watching you. You have become a part of me, and helped me realize just how truly connected we all are.
I was told many, many (ok, 8) years ago by a palm reader that I would be a yoga teacher. But I did not at all believe this would ever happen. For a multitude of reasons, but primarily because of fear, (not to mention at the time I had gotten out of my practice and hadn't even ever considered teaching). But, generally, I did not think I WAS or could be, a teacher of any kind. I had always battled insecurity and anxiety to some degree. Not good qualities for a teacher typically. And I let that perception of myself cloud my judgement of who I thought I was and what I could imagine myself being. And so then, I was not a teacher and as far as I knew, would never be. I am grateful that years later, I followed my heart despite what my mind had told me. Though, even when I started on the path of teaching, I still didn't FEEL like one. While I felt deeply and strongly motivated to teach and share the amazing gifts that yoga had given me, I questioned everything. I doubted myself. All of the time. Last year I remember thinking, "I am not meant to do this", for I was so crippled by fear and expectations I was putting on myself. I made a potentially rewarding and enjoyable experience frightening and at times paralyzing. And I didn't know how to stop it. With all of my personal work through meditation, yoga and study, doubt kept gnawing at me. And fear weighed me down and almost led me astray.
Over the past year, I have let go. I have become what I thought I may not be. But the result I cannot take credit for. It is you, that deserves it. See, I have found my voice through YOU. Because of YOU, I have become willing to let go - for I know, if I am bound by self, if I am bound by ego and fear, I will not serve you, as your teacher. It has been through you, through your willingness to practice, explore and share in the journey with me that I have been able to surrender the part of me who I believed, was not a teacher, so I could be yours.
I have an incredible opportunity and it is one that now, I do not shy away from, or let discourage me. I see that this opportunity was always there, as there is one, for all of us. Isn't it too often in life that we let our fears define us? We identify with that self, that way of being that is directed yet limited because of the fear of letting go and being something different. Of being scared of opportunity to just be your truest most fearless version of yourself.
After classes of struggling to find my way of walking through my own fears, I saw your desire to learn, your interest to grow and most importantly your ability to let go of your own fear. What happened was a strong current that called me to step into being the teacher and step out of the shadow that told me I wasn't one. Through the process of eyes expanding in sight and heart opening in gratitude, I feel privileged to be your teacher, to see you challenge yourself in new ways as you become lighter, brighter and bolder. As you let go of your own fears, and gain trust in the yogi you, and for that you should be proud. And again, I want to say thank you. You are my inspiration. You are my teacher. And you are the reason, I am one.